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Working Mom - The Pros and Cons

Working Mom - The Pros and Cons

By Ify Nwobi |

Every day, more than 25 million working moms travel across the country to clim the clock and career ladders, and this number has been growing rapidly over the years.

According to a 2015 Pew report, one-third of Americans believe that the “ideal situation” for young children is their mother’s workplace and only 4% say it is about the father’s workplace.

The true impact of working mothers is most evident, according to studies, in their daughters. Researchers have found that women who grew up with working moms have more advantage career-wise than those whose mothers stay at home, and they are also likely to find better and higher-paying jobs.

According to the 2015 Working Paper of the same group, daughters of working mothers in the US are 23% more likely to work than the daughters of stay-at-home moms.. Out of the 25 developed countries represented in that survey, 21% of the daughters of the mothers who worked were found to have supervisory jobs, compared to 18% of women who had mothers who stayed at home.

“When you see your mom going to work every day, especially if you’re a girl, you’re learning how to handle a really complicated life,” the article says.

Guilt and opportunity (or lack thereof).

First, let’s talk about opportunity. The first thing any stay-at-home parent has to contend with when returning to the workforce is finding opportunities. If she’s been so lucky as to have a really solid career prior to having children, she may have it easier when she tries to go back to work, but it’s not guaranteed. Employment gaps are tough - you’re often seen as out of the loop in the industry or irrelevant, especially if the gap is of any extended period. See: Leaning (Back) In: What Happens When Stay-at-Home Moms Return to Work.

Then, there’s the next thing.

Guilt.
There is never enough time - ever. Some of the more difficult times that were most painful to me are those moments when my child was small and not feeling well, and wanted their mommy. But I had to be at work - so we had to rush out of the house. Other times were when my child cried when I left them at daycare. There is nothing that hurts your heart so much as when you walk out the door and leave the child so upset.

Then there’s also the guilt for being tired and exhausted. No matter how good your job is, when you’re working all day, getting tired is inevitable. Then when you come home, you also need to be the best mom. It’s tough. You might be really exhausted mentally, but you can’t snap. In times that you do snap, it’s twice the guilt. You feel like you have to make up for all the time lost by being extra fun and adventurous at night and on weekends. You feel like you have to compensate, to do more things than you usually can because if you don’t, what’s the point of working so hard? You’re trying to buy peace and absolution.

A good question for us working moms is: how does our set up affect our child’s life? Here’s the good news: We have a choice how it will impact our relationship with our children. While how you get everything done depends on resources available to you (i.e. do you have the money to hire cleaners or does your job allow you to work from home or in some other way be more present with your kids?), there are also other ways to avoid negative impacts. 

First of all, figuring out that kids come first means viewing the world from their perspective. The baseline stuff is food, shelter, education, and love. If you are providing all of those things, you are doing well!

Secondly, drop all the assumptions about how kids "should" be raised or who "should" be doing what. Reset the rules. As long as kids are well looked after, HOW you do it is not important. It may not win you a popularity contest in your neighborhood, but you didn't have the kids to impress the other moms at your kid’s school. In fact, with the right formula, children with working moms tend to do better in school.

How should you take care of your child being a working mother?

When you work full-time or have other commitments, child care can become overwhelming. Juggling work and family is not an easy task, but here are some strategies to balance both:

  1. Set up a calendar to keep track of your work schedule and other commitments to manage the chaos of work and family life. The calendar should include your little one’s doctor’s appointments as well.
  2. Enrolling your child in daycare or hiring a babysitter can also be an option. Just make sure to do your research before settling on a place to make sure your baby is in the best hands.
  3. Consider working from home. With the development and growth of the IT sector, there are many opportunities available. Online teaching, blogging, virtual assistants, recruitment, business development, translations, and content writing are some of the multiple options to consider. We have work from home health tips for you!
  4. Divide and conquer. Sharing responsibilities can make all the difference if you have a partner in the picture. Make sure you both are on the same page before your first day back at work. Coordinate your work schedules and daycare pickup, and divide up daily household chores. Don’t forget to make a sick day plan: If your baby gets sick and needs to go to the doctor, which one of you will take the day off to provide care? So when it happens, you’ll be ready.
  5. Get all the support you need especially in your workplace. Make sure you have an open and honest relationship with your employer. Ask about illness or sickness policy. Inquire about paid leave opportunities for baby bonding policy, paternity leave policy, personal leave, sick leave and unpaid leave.
  6. Slow down. Take an extra five minutes to pick up a latte or call a friend. Ballance says that, like many working mothers, she struggles with being a workaholic, so even something as small as a longer shower helps her feel recharged.

Here at Mummy’s Miracle we support all types of women. We are an advocate of women empowerment by lifting each other up. We are a Women-Owned Business (WBENC Certified) and wanted to introduce you to our collection of cruelty-free moringa organic baby skincare products for mothers who want to give their baby the best mother nature has to offer. These plant-derived baby skincare products infused with 100% USDA Certified Organic moringa are perfect for sensitive skin. All products are free of parabens, phosphates, and sulfates. Meanwhile, Mummy's Miracle Moringa Oil Skincare products are made with all natural ingredients, this hypoallergenic nipple balm helps soothe tender, nursing nipples. Designed for nursing — no need to wipe off before nursing! Also great for lips.

We also have healthy recipes using our Oringga, Moringa Powder. As a working mom if you can find a recipe that doesn’t take too much time yet healthy and yummy, we have this for you!

HEALTHY 5 MIN MORINGA COCOA BITES

Makes 10 bites

  • 1 cup raw organic almonds
  • 1 teaspoon moringa powder
  • 8 dates pitted to sweeten
  • 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 tablespoons unsweetened shredded coconut

Directions:

  1. Throw moringa powder, almonds, cocoa and shredded coconut into a high-speed blender and blend.
  2. Add the remaining ingredients to the blender.
  3. Dump the mixture into a bowl. Roll about a teaspoon worth in hands to form a ball. Repeat until all of the mixture is used.
  4. Store in a sealed container for up to 5 days.

More healthy recipes for your family here.

Improve Your Parenting Skills. Your child didn't come with an instruction manual that told you simply and easily how this whole job would get done. It's a job you learn while you're doing it. But even the best parents have room for improvement. If you want to be the best parent you can be, try improving your parenting skills using these resources and tactics whether you are a working or stay at home mom. 

Remember, momma, you have the option to make the best of both worlds.

Can a working mom have both a successful career and a fulfilling family life? Absolutely!

It may not look exactly like how you pictured it, but don’t let that deceive you. 

Recognize and appreciate all of the great things you do have, and just take it one day at a time.

We’re rooting for you, momma!

Love + miracles,

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